Massholes

Is it me or is everyone from New England a smart ass? Judge for yourself.
Below is an actual email I sent to my buddies in Mass to entice them to come down to Florida. After that, you'll find the response I got from my buddy Auggie. Enjoy!!

"Boys,
I know your sick of me talking about playing golf while you guys are
freezing your butts off, but I can't help it! I'm making up for all
those times that you all were planning golf during the summer and of
course I couldn't go!!

Went out yesterday for 9 holes at the end of the day. Shot a 47, but I
felt like my game should have been better. Anyway, on hole 16 (par 5 -
465yards) I hit my drive left of center and just barely miss going into
a trap. Now I'm on kinda of lip just past the trap and I've got some
tall palms trees in front of me. I say "Eff" it and pull out the 3
hybrid and put the ball in front of my stance to get some height, 'cause
I'm going up and over! I never thought I would make it (which equates
to a nice and easy swing) and BAM! The shot goes up and through the
palms and lands a little right of the green on that first cut stuff.
(not officially on but damn close) Close enough to putt.

So, I'm screaming and of course, no one can hear me 'cause I'm by
myself. (it's fun to play with other guys, but would I play as good?)
Now I'm thinking eagle. My putt is around 25 feet, but uphill and
through some first cut crap. I'm thinking makeable after my incredible
shot to get here in two or at least a birdie. Now all this is swirling
in my head and I three putt! AARRRGGHHHH

I double bogey the next par 3 and then finally get my head straight and
bogey the final hole.

All this rubbing in of playing golf on Dec. 6 in 75 degree weather is
supposed to entice you to come and visit me and play golf all weekend!!
Myrtle Beach in September and Casa Turtle in January?!"

Here is the reply by my buddy Auggie (frigging funny!)

"I've got a similar story.

I was shoveling the snow off my driveway last week.

I only had 10 minutes before I would be late for work.

I say "Eff" and pull out the Ames Super Scoop snow shovel and widen my stance, making sure not to use my legs (which equates to spine-safe lifting method) and BAM! 5 minutes later and I'm almost done.

So, I'm screaming and, of course, my neighbors think I'm crazy, and I'm thinking I'll have time to go through Dunkin's drive-thru and get a bear claw and moccachino-soy-latte.

Now all of this is swirling in my head, and I go to shovel the last 10 feet of the drive way, and all the leaves that I didnt rake last week slow my shoveling down to a snails pace.

I end up being 15 minutes late to work, and no Dunkin's.

All of this is supposed to entice me to visit you too..."

Jesse
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